Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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