New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
