i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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