Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
