Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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