You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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