Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Someone signed my nipple.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
