No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
