So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
