med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
