Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
