Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
