i love accidental penises.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
