woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
