I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
