eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
