I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
