I hate all girls vehemently.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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