Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
