No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
