My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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