That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
