im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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