so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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