she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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