Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
