I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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