thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
