i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
