I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
