I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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