physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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