Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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