hotel room ftw
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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