i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
