I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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