Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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