i permit you to call me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
