He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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