The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
