My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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