i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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