If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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