too bad you live with your parents still
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
