it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
