and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
