Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
