thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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