I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
