Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
