I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
