I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
