Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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